Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
