am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
