So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
