I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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