Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
