Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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