Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
They took my balls.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
