It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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