i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
