Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
