Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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