dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
