Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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