I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Who died my cat blue again?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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