Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
