I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
