At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
