in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
