why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
