In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
