woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
