well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize