I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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