I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
