I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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