is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize