suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize