community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
