i think my tv is drunk
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
