no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
