i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
