About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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