I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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