You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
