Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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