I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
