This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
