It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
