What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
