that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize