No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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