Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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