can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
