weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
