you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
