Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
