I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
