I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
