Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
