Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
