it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize