In the future we'll all be gay
im drinking this country out of the recession.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
