I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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