I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
nutella sex= disaster
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
