I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
