He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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