Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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